Do you have ADD or have a child or spouse who does? If so, you know that time management can be a real struggle for people with ADD or ADHD. Believe me, I know. I have a master’s in counseling and am a teacher with ADHD myself. Being chronically late, procrastination, getting distracted, letting time “get away from us”, being rushed, and doing things at the last minute are all characteristic of people with ADD. These habits can cause a lot of stress and anxiety as well as irritate those close to us.
ADD people feel a lot of shame and judgment from others who think they just don’t care or aren’t trying hard enough. People typically evaluate others based on behavior not intentions, so it doesn’t matter that they did not intend to be late.
Living in the Now
One problem is that typical time management strategies that make sense for others often do not work for people with ADD. And it is not because of a lack of character or discipline. ADD brains are actually wired for stimulation, which leads people with ADD to view the passing of time differently from others.
They typically underestimate how long it will take to complete a task and live in a perpetual sense of “nowness.” Whatever is in front of them at the moment gets their attention. This is the “Now.” They focus on taking action on whatever is in front of them at the moment, even if those tasks are not the most important or do not have an immediate deadline. Everything else that is not in the Now takes a back seat no matter how high a priority it is or how needed it is for our peace, success, and happiness.
Procrastination
That is why procrastination occurs so often for people with ADD, creating stress and chaos in their lives. They think they have “all the time in the world” and that time just stretches out endlessly. They then create scenarios where they feel incredible pressure because they have waited too long to start something that needs to be done right away. Then they do not have enough time to do their best on the task and end up feeling inadequate. They live under the fear of being exposed as incompetent, losing their job, or damaging a relationship.
And yet the lure of living in the Now is so strong they get caught in a cycle of putting off until later everything that is not in the Now until a looming deadline snaps them into a frenzy of hurry and stress. Some will say they work best right before a deadline – that they are able to hyperfocus and be super productive. But at what personal cost? No matter what else you have going on in your life at the time or how huge the project is, when you have an immediate deadline you have to stop everything and rush to meet it. We can become addicted to the adrenaline rush of urgency to motivate us.
So How Do We Stop the Cycle?
Knowledge is power, and knowing that you are most energized and focused when a deadline forces a task into the Now can help in your planning. Knowing that you will procrastinate, go ahead and schedule a block of time in your day to complete a project right before it is due. You can still do as much as you can ahead of time, but this scheduled block will give you the cushion you need to allow for procrastination.
Keep in mind that there will always be unexpected things that come up, so adding buffers to your schedule will help you feel less overwhelmed. Switching gears is tough for those with ADD, so an unexpected surprise can really throw them off if there is no time to transition between tasks.
Remember what they say about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? In the past when you have thought you would do things ahead of time, did you? How did that work out for you? So just go ahead and accept that you tend to put things off and plan for it.
If there is not a specific deadline set one yourself. I gave myself a deadline to finish this blog post and that helped motivate me to complete it. Some people find that having an accountability partner helps. Tell your friend about your deadline and have them check in on you to see how (and if) you are progressing.
With some simple changes, you can take back control of your time. Instead of fighting against your ADD, be aware of your tendencies, and plan for them. Work with your ADD, not against it. This takes a lot of pressure off and increases your confidence as you take back control of your time instead of letting it control you.
Let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment below.