Cindy Baker
How many of us put off doing boring tasks? We don’t tell ourselves we’re avoiding the task because it is boring; we tell ourselves we don’t have time.
A fixed mindset is when people view mistakes as a reflection of how smart they are.
People who have a growth mindset believe that intelligence is moldable.
“I have to unpack my suitcase,” Shandra thought after returning from a trip. She used to dread unpacking her suitcase so much that she’d leave it open on the floor for weeks and rummage through it as needed.
Of course, not unpacking was counterproductive, but people with ADHD put off tasks they think are boring. We don’t admit this is why though. Instead, we tell ourselves we don’t have time or we’re too tired. Really, we’re drawing out the anguish and creating even more work in the end.
But we can change this by changing our mindset. We have to learn how to shift how we talk and think about so-called boring tasks. For example, we often see ourselves as victims forced to do something when a task is considered a “have to.”
Instead try saying that the task is a “will do” – instead of acknowledging it as something you hate doing. This will transform your mindset. An even bigger shift occurs when we think, “I choose to do this tough task because it needs to get done.” My fitness instructor friend taught me to say, “My name is Cindy and I do hard things!”
Then, imagine how your attitude and life might change by adding, “I choose to do it to the best of my ability.”
A fixed mindset is when people view mistakes as a reflection of how smart they are.
People who have a growth mindset believe that intelligence is moldable. They see mistakes, failures, and setbacks not as things to fear, but rather as ones to learn from and grow. They would say that potential is not something that is predetermined but can grow by a person working hard and effectively, and actively working to become better.
Since I am currently teaching sixth graders, I will give you a school example:
Student one says, “I’m not good at math.”
Student two says, “I’m not good at math yet, but I’m working on it.”
Do you see the difference?
Student one will stop trying because he believes the lie that because he is not good at math now, that means he cannot learn math and will never be good at math.
Student two believes that his knowledge can grow over time.
Which one will be more successful in the long run?
FIXED: “I can’t do that.”
“I wouldn’t know where to begin.”
“I just don’t have time.”
“But what if I fail?”
The reasons for not pursuing our dreams are plentiful, but rarely as hard to defeat as we assume. You have to get rid of what I like to call “stinkin thinkin” and train your brain to assume the best, not the worst. In other words, see the glass as half full.
So be more mindful the next time you face a difficult situation, or when you notice your emotions changing for the worse. Reflect on the thoughts and pictures going through your mind, and how these thoughts affect the way you feel, and what you’re doing as a consequence. Is there any evidence that these thoughts are true? Is there a more helpful, realistic way to think about it?
Just because you haven’t done something before doesn’t mean it’s not within your power. This is the basic tenet of cognitive behavioral therapy.
When thinking about unpacking her suitcase Shandra started thinking, “It has to be unpacked sometime, so why not now?” She knew that completing that task would make her feel better about herself and made the room look better. It would allow her to have the items she needs readily available.
When we dislike a task, we imagine how long and unpleasant it will be to complete. And guess what? Surprise! Unpacking took her only 10 minutes.
Here are a few of the most common barriers ADHD people face when trying to get things done:
1. ADHD procrastination fueled by self-doubt
Many people with ADHD put off paying bills, completing chores, and doing other things they consider boring, as we’ve said. But others put off tasks they are convinced they cannot do – often because of past experience. If you’ve failed at something many times in the past, you may be reluctant to try again.
Ask yourself, “Why not?” What are you assuming will happen if you try the thing? Is there another way this could possibly turn out? If a friend had ADHD, how would you advise and encourage him or her? Why assume that the same thing wouldn’t work for you?
Another way to beat procrastination is to do less. What I mean is cut the tasks into pieces. If going through a pile of papers makes you think, “I’ll never get all this done,” then just commit to going through half the pile. Keep reducing the piece of the task until you can say, “I can do this easily.” Once you get started, you will be carried along by the results and continue spontaneously.
Some people like to use the 10-minute rule. Set a timer and commit to working on a large task for only 10 minutes. Tell yourself you can stop after that, guilt-free. Since getting started is often the hardest part, you’re likely to keep going. That will give you a sense of accomplishment, not to mention a smaller job to finish.
2. The To-Do Lists that last forever
Many people make to-do lists but never commit to doing things at a particular time on a particular day. But if it’s not in your planner, it doesn’t exist. Schedule things you want to accomplish, and carry your planner with you.
Keep all your to-do lists in a single notebook. Link checking this notebook in to routine activities you already do, like brushing your teeth, walking the dog, etc. That way, you’ll check the lists regularly.
3. Maintaining focus amid ADHD distractions
Write it, then forget it. Each time you sit down to tackle a boring task, set a timer for as long as you think you’ll be able to stay focused. Whenever a distracting thought comes to mind (usually something else you need to do), write it down in your notebook. Tell yourself, “I’ll do this later,” then forget about it and go back to work.
When the timer goes off, review your list. If the items you wrote down don’t need to be dealt with right away, work a bit longer on the task. Then go back to your list at the end of the day.
Some people put colored stickers on sources of distraction, like the telephone or computer. Each time you spot a colored dot, as yourself, “Am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing?”
4. It’s hard to achieve long-term goals with no immediate rewards.
Many people with ADHD have trouble achieving long-term goals. It can take years to save for a new home, but splurging on a new outfit feels good right away. This kind of thinking can lead to a lifetime of unfulfilled ambitions.
Solution: Visualization. Visualize the taste, feel, and smell of success. You have to make distant rewards more present by imagining what it would be like to accomplish your goal, until it becomes so real, so visceral, you can almost taste it.
5. Self-esteem trampled by ADHD defeats
Years of low self-esteem creates a defeatist attitude: If you’re not good at it, why try? People tend to focus on their weaknesses, and overlook their strengths.
Write a list of your positive qualities – things that other people would consider your strengths. Then identify only one personal shortcoming – and do something to improve in that area.
It is hard for many people with ADHD to complete boring tasks. They leave things out, put off opening mail, doing taxes, cleaning out stuff.
What tasks are you avoiding? What harmful habits need to go? What are you willing to change? You can do boring or hard things.
Tune in to your inner voice. Do you hear a fixed mindset? “I know this won’t work, it never did before.”
If so, ask yourself why it didn’t work. Figure out what you need to do differently. Commit to trying the new approach for a week before deciding it’s not worth the effort.
You can track your inner voice by keeping a thought record. Five columns: name the thoughts that come up in a problem situation, describe the situation itself, name the feelings aroused by the thoughts, name the thought distortions you can identify, then list more realistic thoughts.
If you catch yourself belittling one of your achievements, recognize this as the distortion it is. When you do meet a goal, reward yourself. The best way to get stuff done with ADHD is to change your mindset from fixed to growth. You haven’t reached your goals…. yet. J
